We moved into a new house this past January, and one of our favorite things about our new house is the fact that it has an irrigation system. Being novices at using said system the lovely 'A to Z Landscaping' guy came out, got us all set up, showed Aaron how to use the system - put us on an every other day rotation, etc and we're set (well...at least until we get our first bill and need to alter the frequency :) ). On the days we water - the rotation starts at 5am and so when I pull out the driveway about 6:30am the last zone is finishing up on the left side of the yard...so on that first as I'm backing out I notice that we are full on WATERING THE DRIVEWAY! I'm totally torked all the way into work. I call Aaron to inform him that I am NOT going to pay for asphalt watering, to which he responds with some uber rational "ok - I'll go out and take a look at it..." and great, taken care of. However, as I went about my day it just was really bothering me and I could not get one thought out of my head. It's no secret that in many parts of the world we are in a MAJOR water crisis. Babies die every day, every hour - every mintute (I'm guessing?) because of a lack of drink-able water. And here I am with my LOADS of good water WATERING THE DRIVEWAY?! In all honesty - I don't know what to do with that. I think there's value to my thought process, but what am I going to do...have my irrigation system dug up to ensure that no children go without a suitable water supply. Of this be sure, oh cyberspace, if that was all it took - it'd have been done already.
Anyone who knows me knows I love to shop. :) I just do. Unashamedly (is that a word?) - I love to shop, I love clothes, I love shoes, I love to grocery shop - I love to furniture shop, I love to shop for others, I love to shop for my family, I love to shop for me. I'm not materialistic. It isn't what motivates me. It isn't the purpose in my life - it's just something I enjoy. I have a husband who's great with money - he ensures we save, don't have debt, tithe and are generous and doesn't tolerate any irresponsibility on my end with spending so I'm forced to shop within reason (read - SUPER THANKFUL FOR THAT even though I fight it with a vengence!). However, lately as I'm out my thought process goes something like this... [I'm at Target : cute ballet flats $12.99 - totally going to get these - can wear these for family pics with Dietrich next week, which reminds me need to stop at the mall on the way home to pick up my shirt at the Limited and Aaron's shirt at the Buckle - but then we should be good because Abby already has her outfit from her birthday party. Hmm...it's weird that here I am planning our outfits for our professional pictures that we have done every 6 months, ON TOP of everything else we do in our lives when there are people who literally don't know how they're going to buy food...and/or are homeless and/or don't have jobs and/or can't afford to buy their kids clothes AT ALL - let alone the fancy tutu for pictures.] AH. I DON'T KNOW HOW TO RECONCILE THAT. Should I not shop? Should I make more trips to the Good Will - or is there somewhere else I should go? I literally already go there once a quarter AT LEAST.
I truly don't believe God is convicting me to stop watering my lawn, or even to refuse to purchase anything. I don't think I'm being convicted about the $29.50 shirt at the Limited...but what I do see is a gently prodding in my spirit asking this question. What will it take to turn matters of the heart (the things that could be a fleeting thought or just something I hold internally going...'huh - what to do with that?') into THE HEART OF THE MATTER.
My stuff isn't the problem...it's how I look at the stuff, how I feel without the stuff, and my willingness to GIVE my stuff.
I feel like lately my blogs are answer-less...and I think for this season of my life, maybe that's ok. I'd prefer to blog some grandiose life lesson that concludes with a teachable moment I can then share with others vs being completely vulnerable about my own process, however - for this moment in time. So be it. :)
