Is anyone else reading Present Over Perfect? Holy smokes. Anyone else feel like Shauna wrote this book just for you? Just me? If you've not yet read this spectacular book, stop what you're doing and order it immediately. You won't be sorry.
In an interesting turn of events - I ended up with a previously scheduled vacation day and no specific plans, and I decided to keep it and just have a day to enjoy nothing to do. My house is clean, laundry is done, grocery shopping done. I'm determined to do things I like today...ok and maybe run to Costco because really, how else will my children survive the week without an econo-sized pack of Eggo waffles?
Back to the book. In reading this morning, this particular paragraph as she describes her 'lifeline best friends' really got me thinking: "We talk every day, usually many times a day, and our constant refrain sounds like this: what can you lay down? How can we make this simpler? Are you getting enough rest? Can I take your kids for a couple hours? Instead of competing for who's busier or who's more tired, who's keeping more balls in the air, we're constantly looking for ways to help each other's lives get lighter, easier to carry, closer to the heart of what we love, less clogged with expectations and unnecessary tasks."
I recently had a friend tell me I was hard to love. Her exact words were 'you're really hard to love. it's not that you're unlovable, you just make it really hard to love you.' Truth be told - I rolled my eyes on the inside and went on with my day; impressed with my high capacity to handle a lot, and proud that while I watched friends around me take each other's help - I didn't need it. I chalked it up to my strong sense of personal accountability/responsibility. Hard to love ... ha. I'm just a super low maintenance friend.
Have I mentioned I'm really good at lying to myself?
I'm the queen of self-preservation. I enjoy controlling my surroundings as much as humanly possible. I enjoy being perceived at not needing anyone. I perceive that this somehow proves my value-proposition to the universe. Look universe, I am so capable. And look universe, I don't need anyone. I do not care for actual vulnerability, but I'm a big fan of calculated vulnerability...you know, the kind where you share just enough to make everyone around you go 'aw, she's so great - so genuine and willing to be vulnerable.'
It's so dangerous. And it's so...oh I don't know...FALSE!
Back to what I read this morning. As I read her words I started to think about friendships/groups of friends I observed around me. I started to think of all the times people have reached out and offered me help, and I just roll my eyes and move on - yet, I watch others help each other in what appears to be a beautiful dance of intimate friendship. And I sit here what, proud that I didn't ask for help? That my saying no to help of any kind lets my friend know that I have things covered over here? Nothing to see here folks, we're perfect at the Johnsons.
Dear sweet heavenly Lord, I DO NOT HAVE IT COVERED.
Let's be really clear. I push all love and help away because the more people are let in, the greater the potential for hurt. I do this in my marriage all the time. If I'm too invested, if there's too much intimacy, if he actually knew how much I needed him, how much I loved him, believed in him ... what if knowing that makes me seem needy? Clingy? Well, who wants that? And heaven forbid - I share my dreams, my fears, my insecurities...certainly not. No one wants to be married to, let alone be friends with a failure!
Enter the gentleness of the Holy Spirit. Truth be told, I'm in one of those reality-altering moments where like Paul, I feel like scales are falling off my blinded eyes and as they fall - the seeing is more clear than it was before. I think I have to work on real vulnerability, and I think accepting love might be part of that. (for anyone who knows me well, this is the moment where I start pulling at my scarf because this type of emotional honesty feels like a NOOSE!)
So remember my friend who said I was hard to love? Well, the next time she came over - I let her take out my trash. Baby steps, people. Baby steps.
Here's to being easier to love (and a whole bunch of other stuff - because apparently I'm less perfect than I'd like you do think). Wink.
Monday, February 27, 2017
Tuesday, January 10, 2017
Yup. I'm a Crab.
I'm not sure if it's the typical sugar/carb detox crabby....or a special kind of crabby that only girls are gifted with each month. But either way, I'm on a bit of a war path. You can go ahead and feel sorry for my family right about now.
Just keepin' it real.
OK, so today is one week in. I'm down about 3ish pounds. Blah. I just feel like it's fundamentally unfair that the pounds come off SO SLOW (unless you're a boy....in which case all you have to do is think about not drinking a soda, and boom - you've lost 10 pounds. See, I told ya. Crabby.) But I feel like it's only fair that as soon as I commit to eating differently/cleaner I should naturally wake up a size zero. Curse you, universe!
On a serious note, let's talk meal planning!
Monday
Breakfast - same greeeeeeeen smoothie from last week
Lunch - nothing. I was in back-to-back meetings all day and ran out of time for lunch (cue the violins)
Dinner - Lettuce Wraps (these are ah-mazing). Coconut aminos (soy sauce sub) are wonderful beyond words. I buy the biggest bottle possible and it still doesn't last very long.
Tuesday
Breakfast - chia/coconut yogurt (total sweet tooth curb-er)
Lunch - the last round of spag squash/whole30 meat and marinara sauce
Dinner - chicken/pepper nachos...I hollow out those cute, little mini peppers and fill them with shredded chicken (I do mine in a crock pot, a rotisserie chicken could also work great) and then bake at 375 for 35ish minutes. Top with guac. Mmmm....
Wednesday
Breakfast - 1 egg/2 strips bacon
Lunch - leftover lettuce wraps
Dinner - Cleaning out the fridge night
Thursday
Breakfast - smoothie
Lunch - leftover lettuce wraps
Dinner - Baked sweet potatoes with coconut oil/cinnamon, shredded chicken with BBQ sauce and coleslaw
Friday
Breakfast - 1 egg/2 strips bacon
Lunch - leftovers
Dinner - Turkey meatballs (you must make these - to die for!) with another round of whole30 marinara with some steamed broccoli
Happy Tuesday! Here's to a week with more pounds gone, less puffy bellies, good food, and hustling through the sugar detox process (and that other stuff too).
xo
Just keepin' it real.
OK, so today is one week in. I'm down about 3ish pounds. Blah. I just feel like it's fundamentally unfair that the pounds come off SO SLOW (unless you're a boy....in which case all you have to do is think about not drinking a soda, and boom - you've lost 10 pounds. See, I told ya. Crabby.) But I feel like it's only fair that as soon as I commit to eating differently/cleaner I should naturally wake up a size zero. Curse you, universe!
On a serious note, let's talk meal planning!
Monday
Breakfast - same greeeeeeeen smoothie from last week
Lunch - nothing. I was in back-to-back meetings all day and ran out of time for lunch (cue the violins)
Dinner - Lettuce Wraps (these are ah-mazing). Coconut aminos (soy sauce sub) are wonderful beyond words. I buy the biggest bottle possible and it still doesn't last very long.
Tuesday
Breakfast - chia/coconut yogurt (total sweet tooth curb-er)
Lunch - the last round of spag squash/whole30 meat and marinara sauce
Dinner - chicken/pepper nachos...I hollow out those cute, little mini peppers and fill them with shredded chicken (I do mine in a crock pot, a rotisserie chicken could also work great) and then bake at 375 for 35ish minutes. Top with guac. Mmmm....
Wednesday
Breakfast - 1 egg/2 strips bacon
Lunch - leftover lettuce wraps
Dinner - Cleaning out the fridge night
Thursday
Breakfast - smoothie
Lunch - leftover lettuce wraps
Dinner - Baked sweet potatoes with coconut oil/cinnamon, shredded chicken with BBQ sauce and coleslaw
Friday
Breakfast - 1 egg/2 strips bacon
Lunch - leftovers
Dinner - Turkey meatballs (you must make these - to die for!) with another round of whole30 marinara with some steamed broccoli
Happy Tuesday! Here's to a week with more pounds gone, less puffy bellies, good food, and hustling through the sugar detox process (and that other stuff too).
xo
Monday, January 2, 2017
Getting Started
Let's do this Whole30/Paleo thing!
[To be clear, I'm no expert and I'm no doctor. I've tried and failed at this whole health and weight loss journey more times than I care to admit. However, I do know that there's power in community and I have benefited by watching and learning from others.]
Are you in learning mode?
First we shop....
**Note:
Weekly Staples:
[To be clear, I'm no expert and I'm no doctor. I've tried and failed at this whole health and weight loss journey more times than I care to admit. However, I do know that there's power in community and I have benefited by watching and learning from others.]
Are you in learning mode?
- I highly recommend actually reading the Whole30 book. It is well worth the $16.99, and you actually learn the medical/scientific thought process behind eating this way. It's entertaining to read, and there are lots of great recipes. You'll thank me later.
- I say both Whole30 along with Paleo because I have done the purist version of Whole30 and learned a few things along the way where I'll make modifications/allowances
- Here are my 2 favorite cookbooks: #1 and #2
- Let's not forget the beauty of Pinterest! I do a search almost weekly for Paleo and Whole30 recipes. [If you want to check out some of my other boards/saved recipes - jesj1225]
- I get a lot of great ideas through Instagram as well. I'll share favorites along the way - but one of my top is @paleomg. [I'm @ jesj120 if you want to follow along with my journey there...be forewarned, I post about food, but I also like my babies...a lot.]
First we shop....
**Note:
- If you want to use almond milk (highly recommend it!), you must look at ingredients! Even some of the best brands look to be organic/natural, but still contain carrageenan. You don't want to ingest that stuff, trust me. Or don't trust me and look it up yourself, either way - don't drink it.
- When possible, I buy organic
- Based on everything I've read and learned in talking to people who are experts - don't skip supplements. I live by the always take a multivitamin, a probiotic, and an omega3 (mine also has vit D). And buy good supplements, as in from someplace like Whole Foods or Fresh Thyme, or a co-op. And it's important to switch up your probiotic - don't buy one brand on repeat forever. The end. *hopefully you know this by now, but this is all just my own personal opinions based on all I've read and from conversations with my uber-fantastic PA who is part naturo-path/part western medicine.
- Not pictured here is the organic/virgin coconut oil I do most cooking with (I really like the Simply Balanced brand from Target, but there are many great brands out there) along with coconut aminos, which is a soy free substitute for soy sauce...and is ah-mazing. Go buy some. Or don't, and miss out.
- I use sriracha and raw organic honey in some of my cooking. I call that out because it's not technically Whole30 approved.
Weekly Staples:
- Each morning = latte w/ coconut milk
- Snacks = apple w/ almond butter, organic raw cashews, organic raisins, lightly salted almonds (make sure you read your labels - if there's anything other than almonds and salt, no go!)
- Breakfast
- Lunch *for the sauce, I do a less fussy version and add about 1/2 the pineapple juice and just add it to the pan vs making sauce separate
- Dinner - spaghetti squash and the marinara/tomato sauce recipe from the Whole30 book (I add 1lb of organic grass fed ground beef
- Breakfast - 1 fried egg (cooked in coconut oil) + 2 strips bacon
- Lunch - same as Tuesday
- Dinner - fish tacos (Juli Bauer's cookbook linked above) + cilantro lime cauliflower rice
- Breakfast - same smoothie as Tuesday
- Lunch - left over spag squash + sauce
- Dinner - roasted sweet potatoes, poached eggs, bacon (breakfast for dinner!)
- Breakfast - 1 fried egg (cooked in coconut oil) + 2 strips bacon
- Lunch - Salad bar at work
- Dinner - clean out the fridge/leftovers (do this in prep for grocery shopping Sat am)
2017, Let's Do This!
Ever walk by a mirror and think "whoa! how could I have let this happen?"
I have struggled with my weight since, oh I don't know, all of time. I was always painfully aware of the 'other girls' with the better metabolism, or who were taller, or prettier, or really just anyone who didn't look like me...and how lucky they were that they didn't. Fast forward 20 years, and here we are. I've graduated high school and college, built a successful career over the course of 12 years, been married a decade and had 3 babies. I've tried Atkins, Weight Watchers, drank Shakeology, done Whole30, joined (and quit...) countless gyms/fitness programs and here's what I know:
- my metabolism is pretty much garbage (like for real...countless rounds of bloodwork have confirmed this...cue the violins, I feel very sorry for myself)
- I like to eat my feelings. All of them. Happy, sad, fun, anxious, angry, PMS. All of them.
- I felt the best I've ever felt while doing Whole30, but you know - I did it for 30 days and then went back to crappy eating and feeling unwell. I'm smart like that.
So. I'm turning 35 this year and while there is much in my life I'm proud of and feel really good about, there are actually a few pretty significant areas that need some more radical change. [Stay tuned, I'm holding myself accountable to blog on all of these areas] For me, this is not about 'resolutions', I'm actually not someone who sets resolutions each January. But, I am turning 35 in 2017 and so I'm using that as the fuel to make changes. In 2016 it felt like life happened to me and I was just doing my best to block and tackle. That has left me feeling beat-up, exhausted, taken advantage of, so fat! I refuse to repeat that in 2017. And the biggest area that needs major change is the scale. It just does. I'm not going to couch it in phrases like 'I just want to be healthy' - for some that's true. But for me....I legit need to weigh less. Period. And I don't want to drink something expensive, or take a pill (side note - anybody remember when ephedra/ephedrine was legal? I sure enjoyed getting down to a size 4 in college while eating cheeseburgers and fries. But you know...that near heart attack probably was less awesome). I want, scratch that, NEED to transition to thinking about food differently. So, I'm opting for a Whole30/Paleo food plan. And I'm going to commit to blogging/insta posting about food planning, recipes, and how the journey is going. Just for me. If it helps anyone else with meal planning, great. But, I need the accountability of keeping track of progress.
If you're interested in jumping on the band wagon along with several friends of mine... stay tuned. More to come.
Happy New Year!
I have struggled with my weight since, oh I don't know, all of time. I was always painfully aware of the 'other girls' with the better metabolism, or who were taller, or prettier, or really just anyone who didn't look like me...and how lucky they were that they didn't. Fast forward 20 years, and here we are. I've graduated high school and college, built a successful career over the course of 12 years, been married a decade and had 3 babies. I've tried Atkins, Weight Watchers, drank Shakeology, done Whole30, joined (and quit...) countless gyms/fitness programs and here's what I know:
- my metabolism is pretty much garbage (like for real...countless rounds of bloodwork have confirmed this...cue the violins, I feel very sorry for myself)
- I like to eat my feelings. All of them. Happy, sad, fun, anxious, angry, PMS. All of them.
- I felt the best I've ever felt while doing Whole30, but you know - I did it for 30 days and then went back to crappy eating and feeling unwell. I'm smart like that.
So. I'm turning 35 this year and while there is much in my life I'm proud of and feel really good about, there are actually a few pretty significant areas that need some more radical change. [Stay tuned, I'm holding myself accountable to blog on all of these areas] For me, this is not about 'resolutions', I'm actually not someone who sets resolutions each January. But, I am turning 35 in 2017 and so I'm using that as the fuel to make changes. In 2016 it felt like life happened to me and I was just doing my best to block and tackle. That has left me feeling beat-up, exhausted, taken advantage of, so fat! I refuse to repeat that in 2017. And the biggest area that needs major change is the scale. It just does. I'm not going to couch it in phrases like 'I just want to be healthy' - for some that's true. But for me....I legit need to weigh less. Period. And I don't want to drink something expensive, or take a pill (side note - anybody remember when ephedra/ephedrine was legal? I sure enjoyed getting down to a size 4 in college while eating cheeseburgers and fries. But you know...that near heart attack probably was less awesome). I want, scratch that, NEED to transition to thinking about food differently. So, I'm opting for a Whole30/Paleo food plan. And I'm going to commit to blogging/insta posting about food planning, recipes, and how the journey is going. Just for me. If it helps anyone else with meal planning, great. But, I need the accountability of keeping track of progress.
If you're interested in jumping on the band wagon along with several friends of mine... stay tuned. More to come.
Happy New Year!
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