In simple terms -what is the goal?
What is currently enabling the goal to be met and what is standing in the way?
What is the necessary output of this team?
Remove all names, ego, pride, history, seniority, and anything else personal and just look at the work - are you clear on the desired outcome?
At the end of the day - what does success look like?
And to then spend time with them building out a team structure to most efficiently and most excellently deliver the end result.
But that's work.
This is about life.
Because I spend so much time in my professional life thinking about ROLES I am acutely aware of the different roles I play in my life. Wife. Mom. Daughter. Friend. Etc.
The role of wife is probably the one I spend the most time thinking about. Webster defines ROLE as 'a character assigned or assumed.' WIFE is defined as 'a female partner in a marriage.' And we know that the Bible pretty clearly articulates the role of the wife - characteristics of a wife and the interaction model between husbands and wives...and wait for it...ROLE CLARITY between husbands and wives. I hate the word submission. Period. I just do. I'm an independent gal, I have strong opinions, I'm a leader, I enjoy being an equal partner, I enjoy having a point of view, knowing where our finances are, having a say in decision making, etc. And yet there's something in me that is hard-wired to be directed, to be led, to be cared for, to be protected, to come under a covering...to submit. Dang it.
Every day that passes I am more and more certain that my husband was designed by God specifically for me (I mean, obviously I believe that he was, but I truly SEE it more and more all the time). He is patient and steadfast, confident and gentle and is completely unimpressed with the walls I put up and the hard exterior I 'sport' from time to time. We operate in a partnership in every sense of the word - we both work, he does daycare drop-off - I do daycare pick-up, we both pay bills, we both clean the house, etc. (He is not allowed to do laundry....there was one episode year 1 of marriage where a swimsuit met the dryer. No more laundry for Aaron.) We have the awesome privilege of having some pretty incredible marriages that surround us, and I have many a gal-pal who seem to have this whole role of wife nailed - who challenge me and set an amazing example. And as we deepen our relationships with a subset of couples I am profoundly challenged to better align myself under the covering of my husband. To follow his lead more often. And to fiercely pray for him as he leads me and leads our family vs fiercely trying to state my peace and to tirelessly try to get him to do what I want. I will always be a gal who has an opinion and shares it, and thankfully I'm married to a guy who cares and wants to hear my opinion and who wants to make decisions together. It will always be important to me to be just as educated on our finances as he is. It will always be important to me to be just as involved in the negotiation of a new car price as he is. And the list goes on.
So - looking back at the definitions I shared above...it's not just that I've assumed the role of female partner in marriage; I've been assigned the role of female partner in marriage. And if I believe the Bible to be God's word - I've got this whole role clarity thing pretty clearly mapped out for me. What's required of me is my willingness to operate differently. So...back to my list of questions I like to ask my clients. If I spend some time asking myself those questions as it pertains to marriage - the answers are actually really clear. And while I've got work to do in this area (let's be honest...who doesn't have work to do in some area of life?! OK fine, if you don't...you can come over and clean my house) - I'm amazed at the faithful blessings that are there every time I take strides toward becoming more godly in my role as Wife.
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